just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
