shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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