My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
did you just send me my own nude
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
