therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
