she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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