Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
