Me too!
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
