Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
