Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
