I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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