apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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