remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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