So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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