My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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