You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
