he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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