I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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