The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
