So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
