guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
