I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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