Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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