physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
