i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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