He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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