Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
