you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
