I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
