sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
