There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
