he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
