I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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