we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
