Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
