We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
