Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Let's get the cat blown out
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
