PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
