If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
