hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
