Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
