Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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