White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
