Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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