He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
These tits shall not be calmed
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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