...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
