so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
A bitchslap is in order.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
