Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
