Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Your cock deserves a montage
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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