I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
