I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
