Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
